2 Peas challenge- what helps you get through a Monday?

Not working, for sure. Now Monday is just another day, other than that Tom goes back to work after the weekend. Getting through a Monday when I was working though was drinking tons of coffee and hanging out on the internet most of the day ;)

2 Peas challenge: what is your favorite restaurant, and what makes it great?

My absolute favorite restaurant is Olive Garden. MMM, the breadsticks, the salad.... I don't get anything crazy or special either. I get spaghetti using penne noodles and meatballs. Oh, and a couple strawberry daquiris. No one makes one better. No one.

It was John's 30th birthday yesterday. We all met up at Cavill's to celebrate. Hole in the wall bar, for sure, but we had a crazy good time. The boys (John and Chris) did their Kaoroke favorites and we all watched, too chicken to join lol. Dawn and I decided that we will start practicing red neck woman so we could do that on bar trips from now on. John was so so drunk, he messed up two of his songs. The DJ called him up for the Humpty Dance and he didn't make it through. So he played Ice Ice Baby instead to see if John could get through that one, and John started with the right song, and then totally started singing the previous song in the middle of that one. He was looking at the monitor too, just must have been to damn blurry to read. Good times. ;)

Very cool to have Greg and Lisa come out too. Great, awesome people. Greg is one of Tom's best friends and the director of operations at the publishing company Tom now works for. He's loving it and they have big plans on branching out. Tom even brought up my writing to Greg to see if I could free lance for the magazine/book. Too cool. I'm going to do a couple free articles to have my name published and then take it from there. Awesome oppurtunity. But it was good to see them in general as I hadn't since Superbowl 04.

Towards the end of the night, Tom showed Greg a pic of Fenny on his phone.... and then John kept apologizing to us for the loss and I couldn't help but get choked up again. I've cried alot the past four days, and it seems like everything makes me miss Fenny. While Tom's at work, the house feels so SO empty. Even little Sabre noticed that Fenny was missing and goes through the house letting out little 'meows'. Damn does it hurt.

Anyway, it was good to get out of the house last night and get it off my mind a little. And John, if you ever read this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I'm texting your wifey right now to find out if I won the bet. I know you got sick, I know it. So you owe me $5 punk!

Our Fenny dog passed away sometime overnight. I woke up at 6:45 to check on him as he had a rough night and he was gone. Thankfully, Tom had gone in the middle of the night into the den to lay down with him. Our baby, who last night could barely lift his head up, managed to turn himself all the way around and had his head next to Tom's pillow.

I sobbed and sobbed last night and then again this morning. Really, he's in a better place. He's running around, fully mobile, barking and playing with his rope baby. He's in no pain. But my God, even knowing that, I am hurting. Crushed. he was so young, we were gonna have him still while having babies and going through life, planned on him being around for a long time.

................ RIP baby

2 Peas challenge: whats your biggest fear?

I saw that this was the challenge this morning but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I could say the regular answers that I have for this question. Which I am afraid of -- 1. That I'll never be able to have biological children 2. That someone will break into my house and murder me (I know, morbid)

But really, my biggest fear right now is that my life is not headed in the direction it is supposed to be. That things aren't going the way fate is wanting them to. That's scary. Especially considering the things going on in my life right now are huge. Getting married. Working on my degree. I know that we make our own choices, but I do believe in fate.

I can't get into it further than that, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But that's my biggest fear.

2 Peas challenge: what's one scrapbook item that you dont have, but are dieing to get?

Without a doubt, Rhonna Ferrar swirl and flower stamps. I've been searching forever! Now there's probably so much new stuff coming out that I'll never get them.

We registered last night at my favorite store, Target. Great registry process, love them. I also want to register at a honeymoon registry thing. But my Aunt thinks that's tacky. A part of me does too, but what do you do when you've owned a home for years and have lived together and have everything you could possibly need? I mean, we found some stuff we'd like at Target..... but none of it is an absolute necessity as we have the stuff now. Part of me still wants to do it, but I guess I won't.

{Yeah, I took that pic.....obsessed, clearly}

I'm loving the two peas challenge today so I had to update.......

challenge:
list 5 things that put you in a good mood

Let's see-

1. Prozac (hey, it does)
2. Dove milk chocolate
3. Pepsi
4. Tom
5. Target

It was not a good weekend for Fenris. Not at all. Even with central air, he'd much rather be downstairs on the concrete than up here with us. It's hot, so I understand, I just want to keep an eye on him. I got a refill today on his Rx so I needed him to come upstairs, get some water, take his pill, use the bathroom. Basic things. He is hardly eating.

I had to carry him upstairs. He's lost weight because he's so sick, but he still weighs a good 90 or so pounds and I had to half carry, half drag him which made me feel horrible. I finally get him up here and lure him with an all beef hotdog to take his pill. He absolutely refused to eat it, and this is a dog that will usually jump all over an ice cube, let alone a piece of hot dog. He went to his hiding spot under the table (although a dog that big can never really 'hide') and I had to put his water bowl under his face to get him to drink from it.

I had one hell of a time with those pills. I finally had to open his mouth and force him to take them. He dies without them, so it wasn't an option. Although, I'm beginning to think we really need to let him do that. When he's not eating, can barely walk...... I think it's time we let him go. But we can't bring ourselves to take him in and have him put to sleep.

That's the messed up part. He'll go a few days like this where I just think he's in too much pain and it is better for him if we put him to sleep, and then he'll get this crazy burst of energy. He'll be back to his happy self for a week or more and then we'll have a few more days like this. So I can't make myself take him in, knowing that he might have a few more happy days if we keep him here.

But God, this is killing both of us. I get down on the floor with him and just hold him and cry. He's my baby, and I hate that he is going through this. He's only 4 years old! Why him? We got him from the pound, three years ago, he was already full grown and we were really looking for a puppy. We saw him in that cage, so sad looking, but so big and strong.........and we were drawn to him. We left, thinking we'd come back another day, but on the way home we started talking about him, and I started bawling and we turned around and went back.

He was neutered already so we only had to pay $10 to bring him home. $10!! It was a running joke with us that that was the best $10 we'd ever spent because he is the BEST DOG either of us has ever owned. Never once, even on days we'd be stuck at work for hours after normal, never once did he go to the bathroom in the house. There were times where I'd have expected him to. It has happened one time since he's been sick, but that's because of the pills. Other than that, never.

He loves having visitors. Loves my brother, my sister and my mom and can't get enough of Tom's nephew and Dad. And the relationship he has with our cat is absolutely amazing. They are so close. It's going to break my heart when he goes. I know it won't be long, the lymphoma is really starting to take over, but I just wish there could be a different outcome.

So I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom. That was my ultimate goal in life. To take care of my family and raise my children without putting them in day care or leaving them with a nanny. Tom doesn't think this is possible in this day and age. I disagree, but after long LONG heartfelt talks about our future, we decided that I would go back to school and become a teacher so we would have two incomes.

I do want to be a teacher. I knew if I never got married, or if something happened and I couldn't have children -which may be the case- that I would be a teacher. But there's still this big part of me that doesn't want to work while my kids aren't in school. I want our children to be raised by us. Now, both of our parents are more than willing to babysit while we're at work. So they'd have people we trust watching them. But I just want to have them with me.

I don't know. I'm not in the situation right now because I don't have any children and I'm not pregnant, but it just weighs heavily on my mind at times. So anyone who's a stay at home mom, what are your secrets? How do you make it work as a family, income wise? Tom's worried that we'd never be able to go on family vacations or have a nice home........ I'd rather struggle if it means I can raise my kids myself, but he does not want to struggle at all. So what do I do........I could use some advice ladies......

So I had a super busy day today. Woke up, headed over to Tom's parents house because his mom had a baby shower on her side of the family. After being there for four hours, we had a graduation party to attend on his Dad's side of the family. I didn't mind, it just made for a long day :) It was the first time I'd ever met his mom's side and I just love his dad's side, but I have anxiety issues so it's kinda stressful. But I made it.

The night before we went to the fireworks. We go every year, it's our thing, but for some reason, John didn't answer his phone once we got there. I'd left mine in the car and didn't know Dawn's by heart so we were kinda screwed. Normally we arrive together so we don't have that problem. Oddly enough, there were a ton of other people there that we know but didn't see. My brother and his girlfriend - who ran into his ex, ouch- my cousin brian and his fiance- and one of my bridesmaids who we did end up running into on the way out. All in all it was fun, I just wish we'd have found them. Then John leaves Chris a nasty voicemail and Tom got kinda pissed and called him out on it but it blew over........

Anyway, I don't really have much to say today.... but here's the 2peas challenge-

challenge: do you watch movies or listen to music while scraping? what are some of your favorites? I try to listen to music, but normally if Tom is still awake then he's watching something like 'Cold Case Files' so I listen to that. I feel entirely more creative when listening to my tunes though so I may have to bring in my mp3 player and rock out. I love a lot of different music but lately it's been the Postal Service, Staind, Angels and Airwaves and Anna Nalick. Kenny Chesney too of course. Always. I'd marry that dude for his voice, let alone the fact that he's FREAKING GORGEOUS!

My left foot swelled up like crazy yesterday. Isn't that insane? Of course, I googled swollen feet and saw 3 common causes. Pregnancy, congestive heart failure (yikes!) and obesity. Gee, wonder which one it is. Well, God, let's hope it's not congestive heart failure, huh? Shit. But I think it's cause I'm so fat and had my big butt parked in a chair where my legs were dangling for a while. I wish I could say it's cause I'm pregnant.

I can not wait for that day. I want children like nothing I've ever wanted before. I think knowing I might not be able to have them makes me long even more. Tom has been so amazing about that. We're going to start trying as soon as we're married, but if all else fails, we're going to adopt. I think it takes a very big person to adopt a child, and I am so so happy I'm with someone who's willing to do that.

I seriously want five or six kids. Tom wanted 2 lol. I've convinced him though to have 4. Especially if we're both teaching and I'm doing photography on the side (I hope I get that good). I can not wait. I want tons of babies and kiddies running around the house making crazy noise and chaos. I want to hear 'mom, mom, mom, MOM' from a bunch of little ones who I want my attention. I want to see Tom as a father. He is going to be amazing. AMAZING.

2 Peas Challenge- I'm loving this topic.....
challenge: Do you have any pet peeves? what really gets under your skin?
Oh, I have many pet peeves lol. Well, okay not many. In fact, it takes a lot to get me irritated, but once I'm there- watch out. Pet peeves.
- when people are not considerate enough to pull over for an ambulance. Get a grip, there's nothing going on in your life that is THAT important, that you can't pull over for someone who may be dying.
- people in the grocery store who park their carts in the middle of the aisle, blocking the whole thing, and have the nerve to get frustrated when you say 'excuse me'
- most of the kids in our neighborhood are good, but there are a bunch of little helians that will just like stand in the middle of the road, or skate in the middle of the road and won't move for you to drive by. Hello! I'm in a truck that weighs a ton and you probably weigh 80 pounds soaking wet, so move your ass. Some kids don't realize you're there, and that's fine, but when it's blatant disregard, like the little devil that stuck his foot out to make me think I was going to run it over- I want to get out of my truck and slap someone. Not that I'm that violent.

That's pretty much all I've got right now. We're headed up to the school now to fix Tom's student loan stuff. Hopefully that won't take all day :)

I must begin today by saying that everyone needs to go see Click. I saw it last night with Chris and Tom and I have to say it's one of the best movies I have ever seen. Definitely nabbed a spot in my top 5, for sure. Certain movies kind of change your life, and this is one of those. Funny as hell too. I know that Superman is out and that Pirates 2 is coming out, but do make an extra trip to the theatre to see Click.

In other news. I read this morning that North Korea launched 10 missiles yesterday. Nice. Why we're over fighting in Iraq (where no weapons of mass destruction have been found) when N. Korea is blatantly taunting the world, I have no idea. I also learned a new word while reading this article......... impenitent. Lovin it. Will have to use it myself here and make everyone think I'm so super smart. I'm sure my brother, especially, would get a kick out of it.

So I'm going to do the 2 Peas challenge and then take my butt to the dress store (finally).........

challenge: are you a thrill seeker? what 'daring' things would you love to do? I wouldn't say I'm a thrill seeker necessarily, I do like fun stuff but I hold back alot because of my weight. Like, as much as I'd love to go to Cedar Point this summer, I absolutely refuse. Why, you ask? Because one of my greatest fears is getting on a ride, only to have them not be able to close the thing and make me get off. It's happened. Well, not to me. But to a friends hubby who shall remain nameless so as not to embarass him. But it was horrible. However, I do want to skydive on the honeymoon. Will I get Tom to partake in that little adventure? Um, probably not. He's one of the most non-thrill seekers I've ever met lol. But I'll still do it. I think it'd be sweet. Of course, I have to lose weight before then first. Otherwise they wouldn't have a big enough suit thing. heh.

2 Peas blogging challenge for July 4th...: Do you have an traditions that you do every 4th of July? or what do you enjoy most about the 4th of July?

I'm so excited about it being July 4th. Growing up, we would always barbeque at our house and hang out, and even after we'd moved out, we still headed back to mom's. But last year, we decided that the 4th would be a 'friends holiday' and we barbequed at our house for John and Dawn, their kids and Chris and Jules. I really wish that is what we were doing this year, but so far, no one has mentioned anything. In fact, I'm not even sure my mom is going to barbeque. Not doing anything on the 4th? That's insane. I need to call Dawn and get this going unless they already have plans.
I do know we'll be heading over to the Taylor fireworks this weekend which will be a blast! That we've done for a few years and it is so much fun. I love LOVE fireworks. And there's drinking and music set to the fireworks, so who could ask for more lol.

But of course, there are alot of people in the US right now that could ask for more. Like parents of soldiers in Iraq. I fully 100% support the soldiers but I do not support the war and think Bush is an idiot. This is not to say that we shouldn't retaliate after 9/11, for sure we needed to, but with the right people. I think when our children and grandchildren are reading history books about this time, it's going to say something along the lines of 'biggest mistake a US President has ever made'. And that's coming from a Republican. Anyway, Godspeed to the soldiers there. I hope they all make it home safely and have some sparklers or bottle rockets or something over there to remind them of home.

A recent 'me' layout. That was fun and made me think that possibly I would be able to do a 'me' album. We'll see. I'm not making any promises.

My most recent layout, of us.....

So I'm finally back to blogging. I had about three other blogs- which I've recently deleted. I wanted this to be a place that while public, would remain private to the people in my life that don't need to see it. So I'm starting fresh here. I'm going to use this space as a place to

-share what's going on with me
-post photos
-discuss my hobbies (photography, reading, scrapbooking)

Really I just want to purge. :)